LGBTQIA+ Estate Planning Guide: District of Columbia

Introduction: Who This Guide Is For

The District is one of the most protective jurisdictions in the country for LGBTQIA+ families. Same-sex marriage has been legal here since 2010, domestic partnership registration has been available since 1992, and District law treats a registered domestic partner as a spouse for inheritance, health care decisions, and property ownership. That protection is real, but it is not automatic, and it is not the same at the federal level or across state lines. Federal law recognizes marriage; it does not recognize a District domestic partnership. Most states recognize neither a District domestic partnership nor a couple who never formalized their relationship at all.

Estate planning for LGBTQIA+ clients therefore has three purposes that traditional planning often takes for granted:

Part One (Sections 2 through 10) covers couples. Part Two (Sections 11 through 15) covers single adults at different income and asset levels, with a full section on long-term care. Section 16 covers charitable giving to LGBTQIA+ organizations, and Section 17 has checklists. The dollar figures in this guide are for 2026 and change every January; the law cited is District of Columbia law as of 2026. Nothing here is a substitute for advice on your own facts.

The Three Relationship Statuses Under District Law

Your legal status decides what happens if you do nothing. The District recognizes three, and the differences are large.

Married couples

A marriage valid where it was performed is valid in the District and, since Obergefell v. Hodges (2015) and the Respect for Marriage Act of 2022, in every state and for every federal program. If you married in the District, Maryland, Canada, or anywhere else, you are married here. Marriage brings the full set of District and federal protections listed above. It also brings obligations: your spouse cannot be fully disinherited, and a divorce is required to end it.

Registered domestic partners

District domestic partnership is a registered status available to same-sex and different-sex couples. To register, both partners sign a declaration, filed in person at DC Vital Records, affirming that each is at least 18 and competent to contract, is the other's sole domestic partner, is not married, and is in a "committed relationship," which the statute defines as a familial relationship characterized by mutual caring and the sharing of a mutual residence (D.C. Code § 32-701(1); § 32-702(a)). The partners must live together; they need not live in the District. A partnership ends by filing a termination statement (effective six months after filing, during which benefits continue), by abandonment, by either partner marrying, by death, or by court decree (§ 32-702(d), (e)). The District also recognizes substantially similar partnerships and civil unions registered elsewhere (§ 32-702(i)). (DC Health, Domestic Partnership)

Under District law, a domestic partner is treated as a spouse for inheritance, elective share, health care decisions, tenancy by the entirety, priority to administer an estate, and the District estate tax. Under federal law, a domestic partner is not a spouse for income, gift, or estate tax, for retirement plan rules, or for immigration. One federal exception matters: because the District gives a registered partner a spouse's intestate share, the Social Security Administration treats a District-registered partner as a spouse for spousal and survivor benefits (SSA POMS GN 00210.004). The remaining gaps, chiefly the federal marital deduction and the spousal retirement rollover, are the reason many long-registered couples ultimately marry.

Unmarried, unregistered couples

If you have neither married nor registered, District law treats you as two unrelated adults. If one of you dies without a will, the survivor inherits nothing; the estate passes to children, then parents, then siblings, then more distant relatives (§ 19-301 et seq.). If one of you is incapacitated, the survivor's authority to make medical decisions ranks behind adult children, parents, and siblings. Property titled in one name belongs to that person's estate, and the survivor may have to move out of a home the couple shared for decades.

Every one of these results can be changed with documents. For unregistered couples, the estate plan is not a refinement; it is the only source of legal protection you have. Section 9 covers this in detail.

A caution about common-law marriage

The District is one of the few jurisdictions that still recognizes common-law marriage: cohabitation following an express mutual agreement, in words of the present tense, to be permanent partners with the same commitment as ceremonial spouses. The D.C. Court of Appeals held in Gill v. Van Nostrand, 206 A.3d 869 (D.C. 2019), that a same-sex couple may enter a common-law marriage and that the rule applies retroactively, so conduct before 2010 counts. The party claiming the marriage must prove it by clear and convincing evidence. This cuts two ways. A long-term couple that never formalized anything may in fact be married for inheritance and elective-share purposes, whether or not either partner wanted that result, and a partner who separates informally may still be married. If you have ever referred to each other as spouses, filed anything as married, or exchanged rings with an intent to be married, tell us. We would rather resolve the question now than have it litigated by your relatives.

The Core Documents Every Couple Needs

A complete plan is a set of documents that work together: some control what happens when you die, others control what happens while you are alive but unable to act. Every couple, regardless of status, should have all of the following.

Will versus trust

For a married couple with modest assets and no relatives likely to object, a will-based plan (will, powers of attorney, advance directive, and beneficiary designations) is often enough. A trust-based plan is the better choice when any of the following apply:

Why older documents are a problem

Many clients have documents drafted before 2010 or before their marriage. Common defects include: a will that leaves everything to a partner by name but predates a marriage; a health care power that names a former partner; a trust that refers to a "domestic partner" when the couple has since married; and a plan from another state that does not use District execution formalities. District law has no statute that automatically revokes a will on marriage or divorce. Revocation happens only by a later writing, by physical destruction, or "by implication of law" (D.C. Code § 18-109). The D.C. Court of Appeals has held that a divorce combined with a property settlement revokes the entire will, not just the gift to the former spouse, so the estate passes by intestacy (Estate of Liles, 435 A.2d 379 (D.C. 1981); Estate of Reap v. Malloy, 727 A.2d 326 (D.C. 1999)), and that marriage followed by the birth of a child can revoke a will by implication. No District case applies these rules to the termination of a domestic partnership. A health care power is different: divorce or termination of a domestic partnership automatically removes the former spouse or partner as agent unless the document says otherwise (§ 21-2208(b)). The practical rule is simple: re-execute your documents after any marriage, registration, divorce, or termination, and review them every five years.

Execution formalities

A District will is void unless it is in writing, signed by the testator, and attested and subscribed in the testator's presence by at least two credible witnesses (D.C. Code § 18-103). The District has no self-proving affidavit statute. Instead, a will whose attestation clause recites the facts of due execution is presumed duly executed in abbreviated probate (§ 20-312(b)), and in formal probate the witnesses' affidavit proves execution (§ 20-324). We draft attestation clauses that satisfy § 20-312 and, where the client may move, add a witness affidavit acceptable in other states. A financial power of attorney is not valid unless acknowledged before a notary (§ 21-2601.05(b)). A health care power of attorney requires two adult witnesses but no notary (§ 21-2205); we notarize it anyway so that it is accepted in states that require it. We handle execution in our office so that every document is signed correctly the first time.

Ownership and Titling

How an asset is titled decides who owns it at death, often regardless of what a will says. Titling mistakes are the most common and most expensive errors we see in LGBTQIA+ couples' plans.

Real estate: the four ways to hold a home

For married and registered couples, tenancy by the entirety is usually the right form for the primary residence, and, if a trust is used, the deed into the trust should be drafted to preserve the entireties protection. For unregistered couples, the choice is between joint tenancy (simple, automatic, but severable and with no creditor shield) and a trust or transfer on death deed (more control, especially where contributions to the purchase were unequal).

Unequal contributions

Unmarried couples frequently buy a home with one partner supplying most of the down payment. If the deed says joint tenants, each owns half, and the partner who contributed less receives half if the relationship ends. A written co-ownership agreement (Section 9) fixes the percentages, the buyout terms, and who pays what. Without one, a District court will look to the deed.

Transfer on Death Deed

The District permits a Transfer on Death Deed for real property. The owner keeps full control during life, can revoke the deed at any time, and the named beneficiary receives the property at death by recording a death certificate rather than opening a probate. It must be recorded before the owner's death to be effective. (D.C. Code § 19-604.01 et seq.) This is a good tool for a home titled in one partner's name where the other partner should receive it, particularly when the couple is not married and wants to avoid the cost of a trust. It does not provide any incapacity protection and does not help if the beneficiary dies first, so it should be paired with a will.

Bank and investment accounts

Joint accounts pass to the survivor. Individual accounts pass through the estate unless a payable-on-death (POD) or transfer-on-death (TOD) beneficiary is on file with the institution. A POD designation is free, takes minutes, and avoids probate, but it overrides the will. Review every account and make sure the designations match the plan. A partner should never be relying on being an "authorized user" on an account; that authority ends at the account owner's death.

Vehicles, business interests, and personal property

A vehicle titled in one name is estate property. Business interests governed by an operating agreement pass under that agreement, which may restrict transfer to a non-owner spouse or partner; the agreement should be reviewed and amended. Tangible personal property (furniture, art, jewelry, the contents of the home) belongs to whoever holds title, and for most household goods there is no title. A short written memorandum, referenced in the will or trust, prevents a relative from claiming the contents of a shared home.

Titling and the estate tax

How assets are titled between spouses also affects estate tax. A home held as tenants by the entirety passes entirely to the survivor, which is often exactly what the couple wants, but it also means the first spouse's District exemption is not used on that asset. Section 6 explains why this matters for estates above roughly $5 million.

Health Care Decision-Making

The most urgent document for any LGBTQIA+ couple is the health care power of attorney, because the situation it addresses can arise tomorrow and the default rule is unfavorable for anyone who is not married or registered.

The District's default surrogate list

If you cannot make your own medical decisions and have not signed a durable power of attorney for health care, District law assigns the decision to people in this order (D.C. Code § 21-2210(a)):

For married and registered couples, the partner is second in line, and the only person ahead is a court-appointed guardian. For unregistered couples, the partner is a "close friend" at best, behind every child, parent, and sibling. A parent who has not spoken to you in years outranks the partner you have lived with for twenty. The statute allows a lower-priority person to rebut the presumption by showing better knowledge of the patient's wishes (§ 21-2210(f)), but that is an argument to be had at a hospital bedside or in Superior Court, at the worst possible time.

The durable power of attorney for health care

A signed health care power of attorney removes the statutory list entirely. You name your agent and one or more successors, and the hospital must follow the agent's decisions. We recommend that every client, including married clients, sign one, for three reasons: it works in other states, it names successors if your partner is unavailable or is in the same accident, and it can include instructions the statute does not cover, such as who may visit, who may not, and whether your agent may consent to a transfer to a facility of your choosing.

District law requires the document to be dated and signed by you and by two adult witnesses who affirm that you were of sound mind and free from duress. The witnesses may not be you, your health care provider, or an employee of your provider, and at least one witness must be unrelated to you by blood, marriage, or adoption and not entitled to any part of your estate (D.C. Code § 21-2205(c), (d)). Notarization is not required, but we notarize so that the document is accepted in states that require it. You may revoke it at any time, orally or in writing, and a divorce or termination of a domestic partnership automatically removes the former spouse or partner as agent unless the document provides otherwise (§ 21-2208).

Advance directive (living will)

A living will, called a declaration under the District's Natural Death Act, directs the withholding or withdrawal of life-sustaining procedures if you are in a terminal condition. It must be signed in the presence of two witnesses who are at least 18, and a witness may not be related to you by blood, marriage, or domestic partnership, an heir under your will or by intestacy, financially responsible for your care, your attending physician or the physician's employee, or an employee of the facility where you are a patient (D.C. Code § 7-622). Your partner therefore cannot witness it. The declaration guides your agent and protects your agent from a relative who claims to know better. For clients with strong views in either direction, it should say so in plain language; a vague document is easily reinterpreted.

HIPAA authorization

Federal privacy rules permit a provider to share information with a family member, relative, close personal friend, or any other person you identify, to the extent relevant to that person's involvement in your care (45 C.F.R. § 164.510(b)). Providers are cautious and often refuse to speak to anyone who is not a spouse or a named agent. A standalone HIPAA authorization naming your partner, your successor agents, and anyone else you choose ensures they can get information even before a formal incapacity finding triggers the power of attorney. It should also state who is not to receive information, if that is a concern.

Hospital visitation

Federal Medicare and Medicaid conditions of participation require hospitals to inform patients of their visitation rights, to allow visitors the patient designates including a domestic partner (expressly including a same-sex domestic partner), and not to restrict visitation on the basis of sex, gender identity, or sexual orientation (42 C.F.R. § 482.13(h)); nursing facilities are bound by the same rule (42 C.F.R. § 483.10(f)(4)). District law separately requires every health care facility, including hospitals and long-term care facilities, to allow a registered domestic partner to visit as a family member (D.C. Code § 32-704). Neither protection helps if you are unconscious and no one has your documents. Carry a wallet card, keep copies on your phone, and give copies to your agent and your physician.

Special considerations

Estate and Gift Taxes

The District has its own estate tax with a threshold roughly one-third of the federal one, and it does not offer the spousal portability that federal law does. Two taxes therefore apply, on different numbers, with different rules for who counts as a spouse.

Who pays District estate tax

The District estate tax applies to the estates of District residents and to District real estate and tangible property owned by nonresidents (§ 47-3703); a resident's real and tangible property located outside the District is excluded proportionally (§ 47-3702(a-1)(2)). The taxable estate includes everything you own at death: home equity, retirement accounts, life insurance you own on your own life, business interests, and your share of jointly held property. A Washington household with a paid-off rowhouse, two retirement accounts, and a term life policy can cross $5 million without feeling wealthy. Under the 2026 rate table, the District tax on a $6 million taxable estate is $121,299; on $8 million, $385,299.

Married couples and registered domestic partners: use both District exemptions

The District computes its taxable estate as if a registered domestic partner were a spouse, so both married couples and registered partners get an unlimited District marital deduction (§ 47-3701(12)). Neither gets District portability. A couple that leaves everything to the survivor pays no District tax at the first death but wastes the first partner's $4,988,400 exemption; at the second death, only one exemption applies to the combined estate.

The standard solution is a credit shelter trust (also called a bypass or family trust) in each person's will or revocable trust. At the first death, an amount up to the District exemption is directed into the trust for the survivor's benefit rather than outright to the survivor. The survivor can receive income and principal for support and can serve as trustee, but the trust assets are not in the survivor's estate at the second death. Both exemptions are used, and a couple can pass roughly $10 million free of District tax. For married couples this is layered on top of federal portability; for domestic partners it is the only way to use both District exemptions, and the federal exemption must be planned for separately (below).

A QTIP trust is used when a spouse wants to provide for the survivor but control where the assets go afterward, for example in a second marriage with children from a prior relationship. The federal marital deduction still applies.

Federal planning for domestic partners, and all planning for unregistered couples

Federal law gives no marital deduction to a domestic partner or an unmarried partner, and District law gives none to an unregistered partner. For registered partners, every dollar left to the survivor above $15 million is subject to federal tax; for unregistered partners, every dollar above $4,988,400 is subject to District tax and every dollar above $15 million to federal tax. The strategies that remain are:

Income tax basis: a trap for unmarried couples

Inherited assets receive a new income tax basis equal to date-of-death value, erasing built-in capital gain. For spouses, jointly held property is treated as half owned by each, so half receives the step-up (IRC § 2040(b)). For unmarried joint owners, including registered domestic partners, the entire value is included in the estate of the first to die except to the extent the survivor can prove their own contributions (§ 2040(a)), and only the included portion gets the step-up. Keep records of who paid for what, or hold the asset in a trust that documents ownership.

Retirement accounts and the estate

Retirement accounts are included in the estate at full value and are also subject to income tax when withdrawn. For large IRAs the combined burden on a non-spouse beneficiary can exceed 60%. Section 8 covers designations; for estates near the threshold, the choice of who receives the IRA versus who receives other assets should be made with tax in mind.

Children and Parentage

For LGBTQIA+ parents, the estate plan must do two things that other families rarely think about: confirm that both parents are legally the child's parents, and protect that relationship in places that would not recognize it.

How District law establishes parentage

District law presumes that a person is the parent of a child born during that person's marriage or registered domestic partnership with the birth parent, or within 300 days after it ends (D.C. Code § 16-909(a), (a-1)); gender-specific terms in District law are construed as gender neutral (§ 46-401(b)). A person who consents in writing to the artificial insemination of the birth parent with the intent to be a parent is conclusively established as a parent, whether or not the two are married or registered, and the consent requirement can be satisfied without a signed writing if the person lived with the birth parent and child and openly held the child out as their own (§ 16-909(e)). Surrogacy agreements that meet the statutory requirements are enforceable, and the court can enter an order of parentage for the intended parents (§ 16-404, § 16-407, § 16-408). Both parents can be named on the District birth certificate.

A presumption is not the same as an adjudication. A birth certificate is an administrative record, and some states and foreign countries have refused to honor a non-biological parent's status based on a certificate alone. A court judgment of parentage or an adoption decree is entitled to full faith and credit in every state. For that reason we recommend that every non-biological, non-adoptive parent obtain one of the following:

Either document should be kept with the estate plan and copies given to the child's school and physician.

Children from a prior relationship and stepchildren

A partner's child is not your heir unless you adopt the child or name the child in your will or trust. If you intend to provide for a stepchild, say so expressly. If you do not, and your partner dies first, the child may expect an inheritance you never intended. Blended families should also decide, in writing, whether the survivor's plan can be changed after the first death; a joint trust or contractual will can lock in the distribution to each partner's children.

Naming a guardian

If both parents die or become incapacitated, a court appoints a guardian for a minor child. The court gives strong weight to a guardian nominated in the parents' wills, and, if both parents nominate the same person, that nomination usually controls. For a family with only one legal parent, the nomination is essential: without it, the surviving non-legal parent has no standing, and the child's grandparents or other relatives may be appointed instead.

The District also permits a standby guardianship, a written designation that gives a named person authority over the child on a triggering event without a court proceeding in advance. The triggering events are limited: a written diagnosis by a licensed clinician of a chronic condition from which the parent may not recover, followed by the parent's debilitation, incapacity, or death; or an adverse immigration action against the parent (D.C. Code § 16-4802, § 16-4804). The parent keeps concurrent authority while living. This is valuable for a single parent with a serious illness and for a non-legal parent whose adoption is not yet complete; it is not a substitute for a guardian nomination in the will.

Providing for a child financially

A minor cannot own property outright. Money left to a child without a trust is held by a court-supervised custodian until age 18 and then paid out in full. The better structure is a trust in the will or revocable trust, managed by a trustee you choose, with distributions for health, education, and support and staged principal distributions at ages you select. For a child with a disability, a supplemental needs trust preserves eligibility for public benefits.

Life insurance is usually the most practical way for young parents to fund a child's trust. The policy should name the trust, not the child, as beneficiary.

Documents for travel

When a family travels to a state or country that may not recognize both parents, carry the adoption decree or parentage judgment, a notarized travel consent from the other parent, and a copy of the child's medical power of attorney naming both parents. We prepare a travel packet for families who ask.

Retirement Accounts, Life Insurance, and Beneficiary Designations

For most working couples, retirement accounts and life insurance are the largest assets they own, and none of them pass under the will. Each passes by the beneficiary form on file with the plan or insurer. Federal law governs most of these accounts, and federal law recognizes spouses only.

What a spouse gets that a partner does not

The "not more than 10 years younger" rule is worth noting: an unmarried partner close in age to the account owner can stretch withdrawals over their own life expectancy rather than 10 years. Beneficiary forms should be completed with this in mind.

Employer plans and the spousal waiver

Under federal law, a married participant's spouse is the automatic beneficiary of a 401(k) or pension unless the spouse consents in writing, with the consent witnessed by a notary or a plan representative (IRC § 417(a)(2)). This protects a spouse, but it can defeat a plan that intended to leave a portion to children from a prior relationship. Conversely, a participant who married after naming a partner or a parent on the form should update it; the spouse's rights control, and the outdated form creates a dispute.

Common designation errors

We review every designation as part of the plan and give written instructions for each account. Clients complete the changes with their plan or insurer and provide confirmations for the file.

Life insurance

Life insurance is the most efficient way for a couple to replace lost income, pay off a mortgage so the survivor can keep the home, fund a child's trust, or pay estate tax. It pays in cash, quickly, outside probate, and free of income tax. The designation should be reviewed for the same errors listed above. For estates near the District threshold, ownership of the policy by an irrevocable trust (Section 6) removes the proceeds from the taxable estate.

Unmarried partners buying insurance on each other's lives need an "insurable interest." Insurers routinely accept a domestic partner or a partner with shared financial obligations, but the application should describe the relationship accurately.

Annuities, HSAs, and 529 plans

Annuities pass by designation and are taxed to the beneficiary as income; a spouse can continue the contract, a partner generally cannot. A health savings account passes to a spouse tax-free and to anyone else as taxable income in the year of death. A 529 college savings plan passes to a successor owner named on the account, not by will, and should name the other parent or partner.

Unmarried, Unregistered Couples

If you have chosen not to marry or register, the law gives you nothing by default, but it also lets you build nearly everything by contract and by document. This section is the plan for couples who want the protection without the status.

What you are working around

The document set

Everything in Section 3 applies, and three items become mandatory rather than recommended.

The cohabitation and property agreement

A written agreement between partners is enforceable in the District as an ordinary contract. It should address:

The agreement and the estate plan should say the same thing. A trust that leaves the home to the surviving partner and a co-ownership agreement that gives the deceased partner's heirs a right to force a sale will produce a lawsuit.

Real estate held in one partner's name

Where the home is in one partner's name, the options are (a) a Transfer on Death Deed naming the other partner, (b) a deed into the trust, or (c) a deed adding the partner as joint tenant. Option (c) is a completed gift of half the value, uses federal gift exemption, gives the partner an immediate ownership interest, and cannot be undone without the partner's consent. Options (a) and (b) keep control with the owner. We discuss which fits each couple's facts.

Gifts and shared finances

The IRS treats transfers between unmarried partners as gifts. Paying more than your share of a joint expense, adding a partner to an account, or paying off a partner's debt can be a reportable gift if the amounts exceed $19,000 in a year. There is usually no tax owed, but a gift tax return is required, and a partner who regularly pays the other's expenses should keep records so that the payments are not later characterized as loans by an estate or as unreported income.

Immigration and benefits

Marriage confers immigration sponsorship rights; a domestic partnership or cohabitation does not. Conversely, marriage can reduce or end need-based benefits (SSI, Medicaid), alimony from a prior marriage, or a survivor's pension. For couples where either issue is present, the decision not to marry may be entirely rational, and the plan is built accordingly.

When to consider registering

Registering as domestic partners costs little, requires no ceremony, and, within the District, moves the partner to spousal status for inheritance, health care decisions, elective share, tenancy by the entirety, priority to administer the estate, facility visitation, and the District estate tax marital deduction. Because the District gives a registered partner a spouse's intestate share, Social Security also treats the partner as a spouse for spousal and survivor benefits (SSA POMS GN 00210.004). Registration has no effect on federal tax or retirement plan rules. For a couple committed to staying unmarried but living together, registration is often worth doing purely for these protections, and it can be terminated later on six months' notice.

Crossing State Lines

District residents travel, keep second homes, retire elsewhere, and are sometimes hospitalized in Virginia or Maryland. A plan that works only inside the District is incomplete.

Marriage travels; domestic partnership usually does not

A marriage is recognized in every state under the Constitution and the Respect for Marriage Act of 2022 (Pub. L. 117-228). A District domestic partnership is recognized only where another state's law says so. Neither Maryland nor Virginia maintains a statewide registry equivalent to the District's, and whether a particular right (medical decisions, inheritance, visitation) extends to a District partner in another state must be checked state by state. A registered couple who moves, or who is simply passing through when an emergency happens, should assume they will be treated as two unrelated adults unless their documents say otherwise.

Documents that travel

Every state honors a properly executed will, trust, and power of attorney from another state as a matter of comity, but the formalities differ. We execute powers of attorney and advance directives with two witnesses and a notary, which satisfies the requirements of every neighboring state. We also recommend:

Real estate in another state

Property in Maryland, Virginia, Delaware, or a vacation home anywhere else is governed by that state's law. It requires a separate "ancillary" probate at death unless it is titled in a trust or held with survivorship. For unmarried couples, the risk is compounded: the other state's intestacy law applies, the survivor has no standing there, and some states do not recognize tenancy by the entirety for domestic partners. Out-of-state real estate should be deeded into the revocable trust.

Moving away from the District

If you relocate, the plan should be reviewed within the first year. Key issues: whether the new state recognizes your domestic partnership (most do not), whether it has an estate or inheritance tax (Maryland has both), and whether its surrogate statute includes a partner. Married couples generally need only minor updates. Registered partners moving to a non-recognition state should consider marrying before the move.

International travel and residence

Many countries do not recognize same-sex marriage, and several criminalize same-sex relationships. Carry the health care power of attorney and the marriage certificate. For couples living abroad or owning foreign property, the foreign jurisdiction's succession law may override your District will as to that property; we coordinate with local counsel where needed.

The District's own tax reach

The District taxes the estates of its residents, excluding real and tangible property located outside the District in proportion to its value (§ 47-3702(a-1)(2)), and taxes nonresidents on real and tangible property located in the District (§ 47-3703). A Maryland or Virginia couple who keeps a District condominium should know that the condominium is within the District estate tax.

Why a Single Person Needs a Plan More, Not Less

Married people who do nothing get a spouse by default. Single people who do nothing get whoever the statute names, and for many LGBTQIA+ adults the statute names the wrong people.

What the law does if you are single and do nothing

For an adult who is close to their family, these defaults may be acceptable. For an adult who was rejected by their family, who has a chosen family of friends and former partners, or who simply does not want a sibling in another state deciding whether to continue life support, they are not.

The chosen-family problem

LGBTQIA+ adults are more likely than the general population to be single in later life, to be childless, to be estranged from biological family, and to rely on friends for the support that others get from relatives. None of those friends has any legal standing unless you give it to them. The plan is how you give it.

The practical difficulty is that friends are less likely than relatives to be available for decades, and a chosen family is often a network rather than a single person. The plan should therefore name successors at every level, use institutions where an individual is not available (a professional fiduciary, a bank trust department, or a nonprofit care manager), and be reviewed more often than a married couple's plan, ideally every three years.

The documents

A single person needs every document in Section 3 except those specific to a partner: a will, usually a revocable trust, a durable financial power of attorney, a health care power of attorney and living will, a HIPAA authorization, a designation of agent for disposition of remains, a nomination of guardian for yourself, and current beneficiary designations. Sections 12 through 15 explain how the plan changes with your assets, your health, and your circle.

Three questions to answer before we meet

Plans by Income and Asset Level

The right plan depends less on how much you earn than on what you own, whether you own real estate, whether anyone depends on you, and how likely a challenge is. The three profiles below are starting points; most clients fall between two of them.

Profile A: Modest assets (under roughly $500,000, renting or a mortgaged home, retirement accounts, no dependents)

The priority is incapacity protection and clean beneficiary designations, not tax. The plan is:

A revocable trust is usually unnecessary at this level unless a will contest is a serious risk or you own real estate in more than one state. Probate in the District for a small estate is manageable, and estates of $80,000 or less qualify for the simplified small-estate procedure (D.C. Code § 20-351, as amended effective March 21, 2025).

Profile B: Mid-range assets ($500,000 to roughly $4.5 million: a home with meaningful equity, retirement savings, investments, possibly a business or rental property)

At this level a revocable trust becomes the core of the plan, and the District estate tax comes into view.

Profile C: High net worth (above the District exemption, or above roughly $4.5 million with growth expected)

Tax planning becomes a central objective, and the plan usually involves irrevocable structures in addition to the revocable trust.

At every level: the incapacity plan is the main event

For a single person, the likelier problem is not death but a stretch of months or years in which you cannot manage your own affairs. The financial power of attorney, the health care power of attorney, and (at Profiles B and C) the successor trustee provisions are what get used. Choose those people carefully (Section 14), tell them, and give them copies.

Long-Term Care Planning

Long-term care is the largest financial risk most single adults face, and it is one that LGBTQIA+ adults face with fewer of the informal supports (a spouse, adult children) that keep other people out of facilities. Planning for it is part of the estate plan, not an afterthought.

What care costs in the District

Nursing home care in the District has a median cost of about $14,500 per month for a private room and $12,200 for a semi-private room; assisted living runs about $6,500 per month and full-time non-medical home care about $7,200 per month, based on 44 hours a week (CareScout Cost of Care Survey, 2025 Washington, DC data). Medicare does not pay for custodial long-term care beyond a short rehabilitation stay. A three-year need, which is not unusual, can cost $350,000 to $500,000. For a single person, there is no spouse's income to fall back on and no community-spouse protection under Medicaid: the entire estate is exposed.

The four ways to pay

Most mid-range clients use a combination: a hybrid policy sized to cover two to three years, with the home protected by trust in case care lasts longer.

District Medicaid long-term care rules (2026)

District Medicaid covers nursing home care and, through the Elderly and Persons with Physical Disabilities (EPD) waiver, care at home or in assisted living. To qualify, an applicant must need a nursing-facility level of care and meet these financial limits (DHCF, Long-Term Care; CMS 2026 SSI and Spousal Impoverishment Standards):

Exempt assets include the home (if you intend to return or a qualifying relative lives there), one vehicle, household goods and personal belongings, an irrevocable funeral contract, and certain other items. Everything else counts. After death, the District seeks reimbursement from the probate estates of beneficiaries who received long-term care benefits at age 55 or older, subject to an undue-hardship waiver and deferral while a surviving spouse or a minor or disabled child lives in the home (DHCF Estate Recovery fact sheet; 42 U.S.C. § 1396p(b); 29 DCMR ch. 67).

Medicaid planning tools

Where you will live, and who will make sure it is safe

For LGBTQIA+ elders, the choice of facility matters as much as the money. Reports of residents going back into the closet in senior housing are common. The plan should address:

Veterans

Veterans and surviving spouses may qualify for VA pension with Aid and Attendance, a monthly payment that helps pay for care. For December 1, 2025 through November 30, 2026, the net worth limit is $163,699, and VA applies a 36-month look-back with a penalty period of up to five years for transfers (VA pension rates; 38 C.F.R. § 3.274, § 3.276). VA recognizes same-sex marriages regardless of the veteran's state of residence (VA); domestic partners are not spouses for VA purposes.

Timing

The long-term care conversation belongs in your 50s. Insurance is cheapest and easiest to obtain then, and the five-year Medicaid clock can be started before it matters. Clients who first raise the subject at 75 still have options, but fewer of them and at greater cost.

Choosing Your Fiduciaries When There Is No Default Family

A plan is only as good as the people who carry it out. For a single person or a couple without relatives they trust, choosing those people is the hardest part of planning and the part most often left blank.

The roles

The same person can hold several roles, and often should, so that the medical agent and the person paying for care are not at odds. The roles should be separated where one person is good at money and another at difficult conversations.

Naming friends

A friend can serve in any of these roles. The considerations are practical:

Professional fiduciaries

When no individual is suitable, or as a successor after the individuals you name, the options are a bank or trust company, a licensed professional fiduciary, an attorney, or a nonprofit that provides guardianship and fiduciary services. Institutions charge a percentage of assets (commonly 0.75% to 1.5% per year for trusts) and have minimums that make them impractical below roughly $500,000. Professional individual fiduciaries charge hourly and can serve smaller estates. A professional can also be paired with a friend: the friend makes decisions, the professional handles the administration.

For health care decisions, a professional care manager can be named as agent or, more commonly, engaged by the agent. Several District-area firms specialize in LGBTQIA+ elders.

Excluding people

If there is a relative you do not want involved, say so in every document. The nomination of guardian for yourself can state that a named person should not be appointed. The health care power of attorney can direct that a named person receive no information and have no visitation. The will and trust can state that the omission of a relative is intentional. A District court will honor a clear, consistent statement across all documents; it will struggle with silence.

Letting people know

The most common failure is a complete plan that no one can find. Your agents should have copies. Your physician should have the health care power. A trusted person should know where the originals are and have access to your home. We provide a summary sheet and a digital copy set for that purpose.

Pets, Digital Assets, Funeral Wishes, and Identity Documents

These items are small in dollar terms and large in consequence. They are also the ones families most often fight over, and the ones where an estranged relative can do the most damage.

Pets

Under District law a pet is property and passes to whoever receives the residue of your estate. District law permits a pet trust, a trust for the care of one or more animals alive during your lifetime, which ends when the last animal dies (D.C. Code § 19-1304.08). The trust names a caretaker, a trustee to hold the funds, and what happens to any remaining money. For a single person whose pet is a primary companion, this is the difference between a planned placement and a shelter. Short-term arrangements matter too: your financial agent should have authority to pay for the pet's care during your incapacity, and someone with a key should know the pet exists.

Digital assets and accounts

Email, photos, social media, cloud storage, cryptocurrency, domain names, subscription services, and the two-factor codes that unlock everything else are assets that a fiduciary cannot reach without authority and credentials. The District has adopted the Uniform Fiduciary Access to Digital Assets Act, which lets an agent, trustee, or personal representative obtain access to digital assets when the governing document grants that authority (D.C. Code § 21-2501 et seq.). The plan should:

Funeral, burial, and disposition of remains

Absent a written designation, District law gives control of your remains to, in order, a surviving spouse or domestic partner, adult children, parents, next of kin, and finally an adult friend (D.C. Code § 3-413(a)). Families have excluded partners and friends from services, buried people under a former name, and held religious services the deceased would have rejected. The same statute lets a competent adult direct the disposition of their remains or designate the person who will decide, in a document that is dated and signed and can be revoked in writing at any time (§ 3-413(b)–(d)). We prepare this as a standalone document, separate from the will, which is often not read until after the funeral. It should state:

Name and gender marker consistency

Estate planning documents should use your legal name as it appears on government identification and should, where a prior legal name appears on any deed, account, policy, or court order, reference that name ("also known as"). Inconsistent names are the most common reason a bank or title company rejects a power of attorney or delays a distribution. If a legal name change or gender marker change is in progress, we time the signing accordingly or include the cross-reference. The District permits an "X" gender identifier on driver licenses and identification cards (DC DMV) and issues a new birth record with a changed gender designation on a sworn request supported by a licensed provider's statement, with no surgery requirement (D.C. Code § 7-231.22). Name changes are handled in the Superior Court.

For transgender and nonbinary clients, the health care power of attorney and the disposition of remains designation are the two documents where identity instructions carry the most weight, and both should be explicit.

Letters of instruction

A letter of instruction is not a legal document but is often the most useful thing in the file: where accounts are, who your doctors are, what your pet eats, who should be called, what you want said. We provide a template. It should be updated whenever the plan is.

Giving to the Causes That Matter to You

Many LGBTQIA+ clients, single and coupled, want part of their estate to go to the organizations that fought for their rights, cared for their community, or will be there for the next generation. A charitable gift at death is also the one estate planning tool that reduces both the District and the federal estate tax with no limit: bequests to a qualified charity are fully deductible (IRC § 2055), and because the District taxable estate is built on the federal definition, the same deduction applies for District purposes (D.C. Code § 47-3701(12)).

How to give

Wording the gift correctly

A bequest fails, or goes to the wrong entity, when the organization is misnamed. Several LGBTQIA+ organizations operate a 501(c)(3) charity alongside a 501(c)(4) advocacy arm with a nearly identical name; a gift to the (c)(4) is not deductible. The Human Rights Campaign, for example, is a 501(c)(4); the deductible entity is the Human Rights Campaign Foundation. Advocates for Trans Equality has the same structure; the deductible entity is the Advocates for Trans Equality Education Fund. Every bequest we draft names the legal entity, its federal tax identification number, and its address, and provides for a successor organization if the named one no longer exists. We confirm each organization's tax status in the IRS Tax Exempt Organization Search at the time of signing, and we recommend clients contact the organization's planned-giving office, which will often provide its preferred language.

National organizations

The organizations below were confirmed from their own websites in 2026. Tax status and identification numbers should be re-verified at signing.

District of Columbia organizations

Supporting LGBTQIA+ elders who have no one

The question we hear most from single clients is how to help people in the situation they fear for themselves: an older LGBTQIA+ adult with no partner, no children, and no family willing to help. Nationally, SAGE is the organization built for that purpose, and its legacy giving program accepts bequests for general support or for specific initiatives. In the District, Mary's House for Older Adults provides housing, and the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center runs older-adult programming. A bequest can also fund a named scholarship, a care fund, or a housing subsidy at one of these organizations; the planned-giving office will help structure it.

Endowing your own values

For larger estates, a donor-advised fund or a small private foundation lets you set the mission in writing (for example, legal aid for transgender elders in the mid-Atlantic) and name chosen family as successor advisors, so that the giving continues in your name and under your instructions. We coordinate the documents with the fund sponsor or foundation counsel.

Checklists and Next Steps

Checklist for couples

Checklist for single adults

How we work

We prepare estate plans on a flat fee, quoted in writing after an initial consultation, so that there is no hourly billing and no surprise. The process is: an intake questionnaire; a planning meeting in which we settle the design; a draft set delivered for your review with a plain-English summary of each document; a signing meeting at which everything is executed correctly with witnesses and a notary; and a final binder with originals, copies, and written instructions for retitling accounts and updating beneficiary designations. Clients handle the retitling and designation changes with their own institutions using our instructions; we record deeds with the Recorder of Deeds, with recording fees paid by the client at signing.

To begin, contact Trusted Plan Lawyers at (844) 544-PLAN. Bring, if you have them: current estate planning documents, deeds, a list of accounts and approximate values, insurance policies, and any marriage, domestic partnership, adoption, or name change documents.

Sources

District of Columbia Code (code.dccouncil.gov)

District of Columbia agencies and courts

Federal

Other

Trusted Plan Lawyers, LLC

(844) 544-PLAN · www.trustedplan.com

This guide is general information about District of Columbia and federal law as of 2026, prepared by Trusted Plan Lawyers, LLC, for prospective and current clients. Statutory citations were checked against the official Code of the District of Columbia and federal sources listed above. It is not legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship. Dollar thresholds are adjusted annually and the law changes; verify current figures before relying on them. Two items are expressly unresolved and are flagged in the text: the District's elected Medicaid home equity limit, and whether the District extends Medicaid spousal protections to registered domestic partners. Your situation may involve facts that change the analysis. Our attorney is licensed in the District of Columbia, Mississippi, and Louisiana.